" When I get bigger, big enough to go somewhere by myself, I want to go to a land
that’s far away. I want to go to a faraway island. I want to go to an island that has
no people. I want to go to an island that has no pain or sadness. There are no
adults, children, classmates, teachers or my mom on that island. On that island, I
can climb a tree when I want to climb, swim in the sea when I want to swim, and
sleep when I want to sleep. In the island, I think about the town that I left behind.
Kids go to school, as if nothing has changed. Adults go to the office, as if nothing has changed. Mom eats, as if
nothing has changed. When I think about the town without me, I feel a sense of relief. I want to go far, far away." - Hinazuki Kayo
I took this quote from an anime, entitled "Boku Dake ga Inai Machi" or "The Town without Me" in English. Honestly, I didn't really like this anime for its dark theme, but I really like this quote.
.....because somehow, I thought I had the same perspective as Hinazuki Kayo, a character from this anime.
I thought I was like her, a useless person.
I thought I never did anything well, all the things that I did only ended up in a mess. It was like.. I couldn't do anything right. Although I was trying up my best, still, there were people who saw me as a useless person who couldn't do anything.
If I said that I'm truly okay with it, it would be a lie. The truth was... I was really sad whenever someone said that. It looked like I was just a trash in form of human.
The world without me.... I think it would be okay, people wouldn't miss me. After all, who would miss a useless person like me?
Sometimes I wonder... Why'd God created me? What's His purpose for creating a useless person like me?
For these questions, Although I don't know why'd God created me, as long as I'm alive.. I want to find it...
As for now, I only want to help others, even though I still don't know where to start... I hope God always guide me to the straight path...
The world without me... even though I know that no one will miss me, I only want to do something remarkable in this world before I die.
The world without me... I think it will be okay. I'm just a useless person, anyway.... but please... let me do something right in my life, in this world before I leave.
The world without me... I know, I'm nothing special... but please, Allah, please guide me to the straight path, to the right path...
Ooo Allah, I knew I did many mistakes, and maybe I was a rude request for you...
If I could ask for help, please accompany me when I'm walking alone in this world :')
